We are at 29 weeks ..moved solidly into the third trimester and only a couple of weeks away from single digits til our due date (in terms of weeks at least :).
Baby Joshua, as he is known around here, is a squirmy little guy. I hope he is getting this energy out now ...
Because ..
While I trust that God is infinitely more wise than anyone ..and most certainly me of all people, I wonder if He REALLY knows what he is doing giving ME three kids ..and all boys?
While I know that He created the earth, and with such perfect form and awesome power ...I still wonder how I am going to be able to keep from losing my mind in the middle of three hurricanes of energy swirling around me at all times?
While I know the He never rests, and gives me everything I need to accomplish all that He has in store for me ...I am concerned that I still am awakened 1-3 times a night, the kids get up at 6:45a right NOW ..what I am going to do when I am up every hour on the hour with a newborn?
While I know that God knows all things ... I wonder if He knows I already feel like I am often on the verge of losing my mind with the handful I have already?
While I know that God is the God of order and peace ...I worry I will not be able to manage my home full of more laundry, more noise, more responsibilities, more needed of me.
While I know that God's heart is big enough to fully and profoundly love every one of us ...I am concerned that I wont have enough lap, enough arms, enough time or enough of me to give to my sweet children who need it and want it so much already!
While I know God is the perfect teacher and guide ..I fret that I will not be capable of capturing every lesson needed to be taught, will not have the energy to supply every instruction properly or with the right heart.
So ..while I am assured that God is in control and can provide all that I need ..I am feeling a bit inadequate to this task that is looming closer and closer :)
7 comments:
I am right there with you!!!
AMEN AND AMEN Sista! I feel the same way...and my baby girl is here. But God (in these first 10 days) has blessed me so richly with an amazing amt of help and patience. he will do the same for you. I LOVE AND MISS YOU! You are always so honest and genuine.
I have been thinking of you! Thanks Mel :)
I know that you will be amazing, not only because you are an amazingly capable person, but b/c you have an amazing God living in you. I have a lot of faith in both of you:), but I know that He will provide whenever you run out of steam (or patience or energy or whatever:)).
Love you!
as a mom of three, i understand your feelings! He is with you and WILL be with you. and just remember to love and live in the moment...remember, "give us, Lord, our DAILY bread".
i am with you, court and i only have one right now!!! :) i am glad i am not the only one who feels this way.
but he will provide. :)
a little reluctance, perhaps some anxiety and wonder at how it will happen even though God is in control.....and then there you'll be, a few months down the road making it all work perfectly with the promise that God can do abundandtly more than we can imagine. And I'll be thinking..."I never doubted her for a second."
Post a Comment