Pregnant Thoughts

We are on the 10-day count down at our house! We are 10 days away from our planned induction (that part is so Grammy can make sure to have time with Joshua while she is here) and we are hoping for a bit earlier if Joshua can swing it! :)

We are getting excited, especially the boys who have been around enough newborns as of late that they appreciate what they are getting themselves into. They have been precious celebrating our close friends who have another "Baby Joshua", as they have learned along with his brothers to be quiet while he is sleeping, that he needs to eat "mommy milk", etc. These have been fun learning experiences, and are getting us prepped for what is about to take place in the Steedly house :)

I am, I have to admit ..as excited about NOT being pregnant any more as I am to have Joshua with us finally! :) I dont want to take away from the blessing of pregnancy, or be accused of being negative but really ...I am over it :)

I am struck lately how truly physical being pregnant is! Few other states have put me in a situation where I am so aware of everything related to my body. It seems that I have no choice but to be aware of everything I do ...what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat, what I drink, how much I drink, when I go potty (all the time), when I stand up (contraction!), when I sit down (this baby is low!), when/how far I walk (contractions again!), what shoes I have on, what clothes fit me, what clothes fit everywhere but that little peek at the underside of my belly, how my hair is frizzy, what my skin is doing today, when I get my next nap, how long I get to sleep, dreading rolling over in the middle of the night, crippling contractions I have while walking to the bathroom in said middle of the night, which hip is out of whack today, where the stabbing pain is because of his little toes in my bones, how much I weigh, which appendages are swollen today, if the contractions are regular or not, ...etc.

I am CONSTANTLY aware of my body, and its quite an interesting and often frustrating thing for me!

I realized this week, as I am both excited for my sister who had a baby three weeks early (even though she was due the SAME day as me!) and a bit jealous, that all this focus on my body can be spiritually distracting.

Honestly, I have had more of a difficult time pondering spiritual things as of late. I am just too mentally caught up in everything physical! I know much of it is hardly something to fret over, in the whole scheme of things. I cant help being less than two weeks away from birthing a baby (trust me, I have tried) but I can work on not focusing in it, quite so much :)

I have been working on that the past few days, and it really has helped. I am blessed to be here, in this massively glorious state, as many would wish they could be. It means that my baby is healthy and my body is capable of carrying the full time that is needed to prepare him for this world. Yes, I am achy and large but it wont last forever (thank goodness!) and God is good to bless me with a peaceful heart despite all that is going on in this (circus) tent of a body :)

Now, if only I can keep these thoughts going tomorrow at church when everyone around me is SO focused on my physical state! :)