This weekend I had the chance to do one of my favorite things. I was able be with a family as they told their loved one goodbye..I know it sounds odd. It sound morbid. But, knowing from experiencce who those last moments are so important, I get so much satisfaction from being able to help make those as positive as possible. That is sometimes hard when a loved one is hooked up to machines, struggling to breath, watching their heart get slower and slower. Which makes me feel like what I do is so important.
It is a precious moment that I feel so blessed to be part of. To share with a family those last intimate moments when they have to let go, physically, of someone they have loved for such a long time ..its an amazing thing.
I was part of two deaths this weekend. One was a 54 year old man who had just brought a new Philipino bride here, a week ago. The lady spoke no english, but her love for this man was clear. As he passed, she was there. Once he passed she asked to wash his face, and help us prepare him. Without words we were able to support her as she held him, stroked his face and washed his hands. We were present as she said her too-soon goodbye.
Then, we shifted gears to another patient and her family. This little gal was a young 85 years old. She was not by any means an "old" lady, something she had vowed never to be labeled as. Her children sat at her bedside as she struggled with the many machines, medications and interventions to keep her heart beating. She was getting weaker and weaker, and it was apparent that our machines were no longer helping her.
Her grown children helped us get to know the mom they loved so much as they explained that the two tatoos she had on her ankles were put there as a gift to herself for her 75 birthday. She had plans for a spider web tatoo (they wouldnt tell us where she was gonna put that one) for her next birthday. They spoke of wildly dyed hair, fire red (not blue) was the only way to go for this lady. They remembered her excessive use of staples and tape..she thought it would fix anything.
They laughed with belly laughs, through tears, as they conclusively determined that she would not want to pass away attached to all these artificial life support lines.
As it became evident that our interventions would make no difference in the end, they chose to take her off the machines and medication. They decided that she should go on her terms, deciding when to draw her last breath on her own.
They sat at her bedside for the next 30 minutes or so, holding her hand and remembering to her all the memories she had made for them. Those memories kept coming and coming.
The sweet lady left this life on a cloud of laughter, surrounded by her legacy of children who loved her and had such precious memories to carry with them forever.
It was a precious moment to be part of.
I left the weekend exhausted. Emotionally drained, but also energized from the things I had learned. As always, I took something from the experience ..
* Those kids spoke over and over of the "fun" she gave them...never once did they say anything about if she kept a neat house, or if their laundry was caught up all the time
* Being young is a state of mind ...that gal simply decided she wouldnt be an old lady.. And she wasnt
* I am so blessed to part of these moments with strangers.
So. I gotta go catch up on the laundry that got behind from the weekend ...and make sure to make some memories in the process.
May your day be blessed, and each precious person in your life appreciated.
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